I wish feminists gave as much “what to do” advice as they gave “what not to do” advice…

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… without some sort of framework to determine appropriateness, the male listeners may be left to conclude the advice only really applies to the speakers, and not generalizable, especially in light of the fact that not EVERY woman is constantly terrified.

Because without a “how to,” then we’re left to conclude sex and relationships just won’t happen because girls won’t ever initiate.

And it’s sad because I GET why women are terrified in some situations over others, and why some situations are inappropriate because of uneven power distance, but I can ALWAYS imagine coming off creepy to some women. It’s always in the back of my head that it’s a possibility but I know what I want from my life and I have to TRY otherwise it’s never going to happen at all. I HAVE to make mistakes and learn from them because no one’s just going to look at me and try to get to know me just because I exist. And I’m a human being with wants and needs and… dreams.

But I just find it especially interesting in light of the fact that on SO many levels it’s not something women generally have to think about, even if she’s unattractive it’s generally not going to be the case that she has to worry about THREATENING someone just by talking to them. Not to a guy OR to a woman. And they generally don’t absolutely HAVE to try to talk to anyone for a sex or a relationship to happen. If you just go about your business, eventually you can just respond positively when your finally in the right frame of mind.
And if they decide to talk to people, they don’t have to worry about being threatening to men OR women.

I don’t know what it’s like for gay guys, I suspect it varies. But I think it might be similar as far as fellow gay guys are concerned, not too much to worry from each other unless… specific reason to feel threatened.

Men and women are in a unique situation.

Bottom line, we’re going to have to put our heads together about this.
But the people with the list of “Do not”s aren’t going to come up with anything because they frankly don’t have to.
I don’t think it’s ever going to be within their collective frame of reference until several generations.
Or unless they start doing feminist campaigns for women to make the first move in dating/ propose to guys/ etc.

Best advice I can give is try to find as many different stories about men successfully talking to women for the first time from her POV and try to find repeatable patterns in context and content of interaction. (I wonder if there’s a blog about this, or if I or someone else could make one.)

Then find a theory to predict positive response.

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Your Own Daughter!?

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I’ve been asked before, “Would you want your daughter to grow up to be a prostitute? ”

I think it’s worth answering considering I’ve stated in other channels that I’m in favor of legalization.

Right now, the answer to that question is a resounding “NO.” That may sound hypocritical, but here’s why I say that:

The key word here is “want.”
I wouldn’t want my daughter to be in ANY situation that presents a significant danger to her health, happiness, or well being.
I wouldn’t want to be the one to constantly worry about her well-being.
Assuming she’s not being forced against her will, or drugged…
The working conditions for people in that line of work are atrocious, and society offers very little protection for them. She’s likely to be beaten and taken advantage of physically and financially. Not to mention the emotional toll, most of society looks down on them as either evil or dupes, and will not approve.
And/or imprisoned… for example I’m all for weed legalization too, but I don’t want any kids of mine going to prison for it. That’s a whole new batch of worriment.
Obviously I wouldn’t WANT that for any kid of mine.

Of course I’d feel the same way if my kid grew up to work in a sweatshop, became a political prisoner, got involved in a relationship with someone emotionally unstable, if my son became an altar boy, or if my daughter joined the military. This is the reality right now.

At the same time I’d like to make strides away from this reality, but it will be this way for some time. None of those things HAVE to be the reality for people in these situation, but they are. I think things should be better for people who do these things, but they aren’t. I’d like to be in place where I didn’t have to worry about these things. This is NOT that place…

…but it could be.

Just a Male Power Fantasy…

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(This was written in response to a piece about male privilege in the comic book world.)

Keep in mind the entire superhero genre sprung from the unfulfilled romantic yearnings/self defeating masochism of young men.

Clark Kent (Superman) was the first superhero and carried a torch for Lois Lane.
Lois Lane was inspired by “Lois Amster.”
When asked half a century later, she indicated Jerry Siegel was a strange guy who had no friendship or conversation with who occasionally stared at her.

I thought: “the bastard never worked up the courage to approach her at ALL!”

In 1983, Siegel said, “Clark Kent grew not only out of my private life, but also out of Joe Shuster’s. As a high school student, I thought that someday I might become a reporter, and I had crushes on several attractive girls who either didn’t know I existed or didn’t care I existed. So it occured to me: What if I was really terrific? What if I had something special going for me, like jumping over buildings or throwing cars around or something like that? ”

My point is driven home by what Lois said to Clark in the original Action Comics #1…
Lois has to defend herself from a thug while Clark does nothing (to hide the fact that he’s Superman), but tells him: “You asked me earlier in the evening why I avoid you. I’ll tell you why now: Because you’re a spineless, unbearable coward!”

Talking to himself, much?

There’s a happy ending, though!

Siegel eventually married the original model for Lois Lane, who’s beauty, intelligence, and determination also inspired Lois’s personality.

After her husband’s death, and for most of her remaining life she continued to hound DC comics for to ensure her family got every penny that was rightfully theirs.

Following her death, Siegel’s lawyer noted, “All her life she carried the torch for Jerry and Joe — and other artists. There was a lot of Lois Lane in Joanne Siegel.”

How does this translate to how the comic book industry should operate?
…Idk … I lost my train of thought.

Sexualization

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So let me get this straight:
When men measure their own self-worth by their sexual competence, then women are reduced to sexual capitol… okay, sure.

And when they measure a woman’s worth by her sexual competence, then she’s being reduced to a sex objection… sure, whatever.

if THIS is wrong… then let me ask:
What objective basis do we have for determining the right or wrong way to measure human worth?

What is the RIGHT way, then?

Money? Athletic prowess? Contribution to society? Job title? Level of education? Their ability to make you laugh? How well they adhere to your concept of morality?
Whatever you decide you run into a similar and different set of problems.

Wouldn’t we be better off scrapping the concept of esteem altogether?

Letter to Dr. Bennett about Philosophical Education

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Dr. Tony Bennett,

I strongly believe Philosophy should be offered as a required subject for elementary though high school students. Any basis for asserting otherwise needs some kind of philosophical justification. It’s a self-negating premise. Of course, like any other subject, lessons must be taught according to their level of understanding.

We have both lived in America long enough to know rational/logical thought is not guaranteed. Without rational thought and understanding as the centre of all areas of study, we have adults who can’t apply what they’ve learned, and perpetuating this generational hostility to the educational system as a whole.

We ask students over and over again “what do you want to be when you grow up?” This isn’t very easy to answer. When we ask a child this question, we’re asking what adult job, that they know very little about, captures their childhood imagination the most. When students become older, we begin to realize this question as more frightening implications. You’re asking high school students “What do you want to do with your life?” How can we possible expect students to examine this question without a forum to ask the big questions about life itself?

Remember what voting was to the women’s right movement?

It’s the right that, once acquired, would open the door to all the others. That’s what I feel about critical thought given to students. Once they can open their eyes and think, everything else will just be a mater of time. As long as we don’t have these classes readily available, we’re churning out irrational thinkers by the generation.

I’m not asking for an elective, I’m asking for a new centre, a new connecting point for ALL areas of study. I firmly believe that as long you have the power to make this readily available, and squander it, you would then be complicit in the existential degradation of the people we’re raising.

 

Without philosophy, there is no “free will.”

I hope this letter will open your mind to the choice you’re now faced with.

Indiana can set a new standard for education like you’ve always wanted.

 

The only question you’re left with is:

“Will it, or will it not?”

 

Thank you.

 

-Daniel Ballow

(I am a student of Ball State University majoring in English Education minoring in Philosophy.

I Graduated from Key Learning Community class of 2010)

Rape is a Horrible Crime, And…

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Every time I listen to/ read the stories of rape survivors, it’s usually their cultural, sociological, legal, or religious setting that MAKES it more emotionally devastating, and as such, is considered the worst crime in the world.

But upon realizing this… it occurred to me that’s it’s really each of US that makes it into what is is.

Just about every other crime where an attack/violation/exploitation/threat of violence/coercion occurs… doesn’t have this much bullsh*t attached.

Do you SEE what I’m getting at here? It’s OUR faults.

WE turn it into the worst thing in the world, and in doing so, inflict the worst thing in the world to the victims of this crime!

Then in making the perpetrators guilty of the worst crime in the world, nobody can objectively or compassionately examine why it happens, thereby leaving the reasons unexamined by anyone doesn’t think of them as not quite human, or by someone who is not out for blood. And letting it go on, and on, and on… unabated.

Don’t you get it!?

We’re WORSE than rapists!

Feminism: Why the terminology?

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The main argument I hear for why “feminism” shouldn’t switch to a more gender-neutral name is “it doesn’t emphasize what women (reformers/suffragists) have went through. Historically.

My question: Why should it?

What obligation does a movement for gender-equality have to emphasize the work/suffering of ONE gender over the other? And what qualitative basis do they have for deciding?


    • Where the movement originated?
      The were quite a few “Pre-Feminist” men, you know.
      Those women didn’t draw their ideology from thin air.The seeds were sown in ancient Greece (Plato) in speculation of a perfect society.
      You know… old guys with white beards talking to each other.

      Abolitionists didn’t name their movement after black people or Africans, they named it after their ideology.IF feminism does NOT begin and and with women. Then it should change its name.You did good, but your goal has expanded.
    • Same goes for masculinists.
    • Or… masculists. Whatever the Hell they call themselves.

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